Head painin!!!

Die la... HIS bro's weddin dinner is comin. It's dis sat. I mean yea obviously I'm lookin forward 2 it.

But I dono y, the closer the dinner, the more pain I felt. It was throbbin. I noe I was sufferin. I can't even hold back much in front of my frenz. Even the effort of puttin a smile on my face was hard. I din want my any1 2 c my pain. I din 1 any1 2 worry. I'm so sorry but I really couldn forget him. N all the memories he has given me was diggin deeper n deeper in2 the wound in my heart.

The weddin... I plan 2 go as a fren. I bought the dress n all especially 4 it. It was special 4 me. I felt like that family was already another family of mine. It was hard 4 me 2 let go, not oni the guy, but all other family members of his. I am happy.. yet sad in a way. I was happy that they can get married happily^^ but sad cz I was goin 2 a dinner with some1 I wasn't ready 2 face.

Even now, another 5 days 2 the dinner, my heart was already heavier than ever. I'm not sayin this jz 2 make it feel like some poetic ppl but I can totally feel it, I noe now wat it meant by the pain in heart after loosin some1 u love with all yr heart. It was pain. pain that I can't endure. T.T
It cant be seen, cant be help. cant be saved either.

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